My car stinks…..

God has a wonderful sense of humor…

My wonderful husband came home from a long day of earning the bacon, probably so I could leave it in the fridge too long- forget to cook it- and eventually have to throw it out, and announced that he was “very sorry” but he rolled a skunk with both left tires on my car.

“Happened just over the hill there, I’m very sorry honey, but your car stinks now.”

Thanks, just what I needed. Don’t you know our children HATE my car. Sammy thinks it stinks already. Nevermind that the funky smell is their fault. Chicken Nuggets and M&M’s don’t stay fresh on the floorboard forever. I’d clean them out but I can’t find them for all the dry erase books and Happy Meal toys on top of it all!

Any other day this week I would not really care that my car stinks. Today, however, today I needed to drive it somewhere. Right then. We are down to just one car while his is in for repair, and I needed milk and bread (and apparently noseplugs) which meant I now had to take my stinky car to the store. Of all days honey, today?

I left, held my breath a LOT, and made it to the store and back. I had to go inside twice because on the first trip I bought chips and soda and totally forgot about the milk and bread. (It’s been a long week okay) I hold my breath again and head home. Upon walking in the back door I hear:

“Ask your momma, she’ll tell you”

She’ll tell you what? I wasn’t even here!

Tader Jo runs past Daddy to ask me “Mommy can you take me to see the skunk?”

Why OH Why did you tell her you hit a skunk? Apparently my children asked about my whereabouts and instead of telling them what I TOLD them to tell them (mommy went to go get something for snack tonight), he told them that I went outside to smell the car. HUH? Why would you do that?

So for two hours this is what came out of our mouths (mainly mine, as HE was conveniently ignoring her)

The skunk isn’t outside
No we can’t go see it
It’s in heaven
Daddy squooshed it
It’s flat, in the road, disappeared, and in heaven
Yes, in heaven with your hamster
No, we canNOT go see the skunk
No, we canNOT go find another skunk
No, I do NOT want to take you outside to smell the skunk
No, we can NOT HAVE a skunk, you have rats a cat a dog and fish… I draw the line at skunks!
NO it’s not on the car
No it’s not still out there

Yes, I will open the encyclopedia and SHOW you a skunk…… this is when our Pre K science class began.

Our New Book of Knowledge Encyclopedia’s only had one stinking picture of a skunk which was NOT enough to quench her curiosity. So we headed to Google…

I pulled up a zillion skunk images… which was still not enough. It would have been enough but Daddy started to get interested at this point. He started clicking on the image links to see if he could find “fun skunk info” and unfortunately he did in fact find “fun skunk info”. He found Skunk Haven… yeah…. a entire site about skunk rescues and adoptions and skunk breeds…

I had find the legal site about skunk owning and listen to the whole brood whine that skunk pets are illegal in Virginia. Can someone explain to me how my HUSBAND hitting a WILD animal in the road somehow becomes us considering owning a SKUNK?

Yes, school happens anytime around here, thank goodness for Google…and while I really would have enjoyed watching Clay Aiken play “Are you smarter than a 5th grader?”, thank you to the skunk who lost his life so we could find out that skunks can’t be fed over the counter pet food… I will carry that tidbit with me forever.